The role of African theology and spirituality in bereavement among Xhosa children

Abstract

Commenting on research background Mouton (2005:27) mentions critical aspects in this regard. The author concedes that “A first obvious source of ideas is your own experience and reflections about things around you.” The author further affirms that “People who are more aware of what is going on around them, who are more sensitive to their surroundings, are more likely to come up with interesting topics for research.” (2005:27). The researcher concurs with the author in this regard. This connects well with the researcher`s motivation for this study, as indicated in the following detailed section of the background to the study. The study has been motivated, first of all, by the researcher’s involvement in the church where he has interacted with both Sunday school children and the church youth in a Xhosa environment. The researcher has learned that there is no theological guidance and support for young children during bereavement. Many people are of the opinion that children do not grieve and are immune to suffering. Even though this is not in a theological context, the researcher is not immune to visions of September 11 (2001) in the United States of America. Some children saw their parent leaving for work, but that was the last time they saw them. One cannot but think of the shock and grief that overwhelmed those children. In our own context, HIV and AIDS and many other related diseases add to child grief, besides the impact of many road accidents. Many children are affected by these deaths, and grief becomes part of their lives. There are other two tragic incidents that the author wishes to share that cannot be overlooked. These are: the collapse of the so-called Church hostel building in Lagos which claimed the lives of eighty (80) South Africans, and the Marikana saga which claimed the lives of thirty-four (34) people and left seventy-eight (78) seriously wounded Alexander et al., (2012). There is no doubt that some of the people who died in these tragic incidents were parents. Once again, this challenges us to think about the impact of these incidents and the grief and pain that crippled bereaved young children. It has been the researcher’s observation for some time that the focus is always on the elderly when there is death in the family (in the Xhosa context and probably in other contexts as well). The only therapy that is given which includes children is always in the form of sermons and prayers. It must be noted that in most cases, these are conducted by lay preachers who are not even trained therapists, but they provide this assistance out of empathy. Whatever is often communicated during devotions is usually above the children’s level of understanding. The type of language used may not be clear and well understood by bereaved children. An example of this is that of expressions such as tutwini, akuhlanga lungehliyo, imela igobele esandleni, ibingu Thixo obenikile ikwanguye nothabathileyo, sisidla ubomi nje sikwasekufeni. There is no doubt these are good and meaningful expressions. However, these need to be explained to young children as priests continue to preach. These expressions mean: death is always in our midst, and we can never avoid it. God gives and takes life. However, these need to be explained to children as it is mostly assumed that children understand these expressions. The researcher believes that something should be done for bereaved children in this regard. Theological support and comfort is needed in the form of African Theology and Spirituality. The total number of the children involved in this study is seventy (70). These are the children who have been identified in the four congregations of the Free Church in Southern Africa. These congregations form the research context of this project, which is the religious community. Some of the reasons that warrant children to be taken care of during bereavement are highlighted by different scholars in the section below. Oaklander (1994b, 1997) in Blom (2006:151) concedes that “Children blame themselves for the trauma in their lives despite the amount of support they receive from their therapists or parents.” The author goes on to state that “Although the trauma that they are exposed to is not Worden (1996) cited in Jackson (2007:20) that “By age five, most children can understand that death is irreversible and universal…” A comment is also made that “In the absence of an explanation of the facts of death, children may fail to understand what death is and may fantasize about it in the absence of an explanation.” With regard to child self-blame during crises, Sweeney (2001:183) concurs and argues that “Self-blame is a common characteristic for children who have been traumatized.” The author further argues that “When children experience victimizing or traumatizing circumstances, their inherent egocentrism leads them to believe that they are to blame.” It is also conceded that “Young children simply tend to believe that the sun rises and sets because of them, so when trauma occurs, they instinctively think that they are the cause.” The author concludes by asserting that “It becomes crucial, therefore, that children believe that the traumatic event is not their fault.” According to the researcher, this would mean that during bereavement, children need to be taken care of in terms of therapy. This is where theological guidance comes in as a means of support for them. Xhosa children are not any exception to this phenomenon. The area of research for this study is Idutywa where the Free Church in Southern Africa has four congregations. These congregations form the Ngcingwane district, named after the village in which one of the congregations is situated. The congregations in question fall under the jurisdiction of the Northern Presbytery. The names of these congregations are mentioned under the sampling procedure section. This section discussed the research background of the study; the next section will offer literature survey on the subject.